Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Avoiding Temptation/Sin For Homosexuality Temptation part 1
This truley makes me sad... this person hates such a special part of themselves because of god.
I dunno what your oppinion is but this is MY personal oppinion.
But at the same time i really hope she finds peace for herself...
To the girl on my train...
I think i love you.
Seriously, the first time i saw you, i didnt take my eyes off you the entire hour trip.
Kinda felt like a stalker, not to mention i had an annouying man sitting next to me trying to crack onto me.
He was taking up precious day dreaming time... i already planned our life together.
Wish i had the courage to talk to you, but you always dissapere into the crowd.
But i really love it how you dance and sing to your music when you think no one is watching.
How you stare out the window with that far away look, i wanna know what your thinking about.
PS: i have seen you look at me too, even smile... please talk to me!
Seriously, the first time i saw you, i didnt take my eyes off you the entire hour trip.
Kinda felt like a stalker, not to mention i had an annouying man sitting next to me trying to crack onto me.
He was taking up precious day dreaming time... i already planned our life together.
Wish i had the courage to talk to you, but you always dissapere into the crowd.
But i really love it how you dance and sing to your music when you think no one is watching.
How you stare out the window with that far away look, i wanna know what your thinking about.
PS: i have seen you look at me too, even smile... please talk to me!
Monday, February 21, 2011
First day of Uni tomorrow!!
I have my rainbow suspenders and horn rimmed glasses ready to go!
Wish me luck!
No doubt ill pull ALL the chicks... haha <3
Justin Bieber Shot and Killed on CSI
The Beibs is so bad ass! Haha
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Leighton Meester sings "Words I Couldn't Say" in Country Strong
This girl is the ultimate tripple threat! She is a brilliant singer, a very talented actress and of course she is georgous! Ahh i love her!
Dreams are a bitch...
So i had a really horrible dream last night... or nightmare rather.
It’s one of those ones where you wake up and you firstly, thank god that it was really just a dream, and have an overwhelming compulsion to curl up in a ball and start crying...
Now, the dream was that my grandparents who i am super close to had passed away... i was devastated, my whole family was.
Then my parents (who never say more than two words to each other) made a plan to commit suicide and went through with it!
It was an earth shattering moment... my mum was, without question, the best mum in the world.
She had the ability to be my mother and my best friend without compromising on either aspect and it was now only me and my younger sister and for the life of me i just couldn’t understand why it had happened.
Then i started thinking about all the things that these four people, that mean the word to me, were going to miss in my life.
My wedding day, that day i have kids, even just my graduation from University. Things that i had always seen then there for.
Smiling at me, encouraging me, telling me they loved me.
And through all of it i couldn’t help but hate the fact that they died, not knowing about this part of me that i kept hidden, my sexuality.
Now in the grand scheme of things i knew that they would love me no less upon knowledge of this fact and it would not for a second change the person that i am in their eyes.
But it still hurt that they didn’t know, and honestly without them in my life, sharing it with me, i didn’t feel like i could keep living... like that in time i would just slowly fade out and be gone forever as they were.
Now in the midst of this other bizarre and unexplainable thing happened as they often do in dreams and eventually i woke up.
So once the urge to burst into tears and run into my mums room to just check that she really was still there subsided i got a chance to review this dream and heres what i came up with.
1. I have deeply rooted fears of losing the people i love
2. I was scared that i would lose them before i worked up the courage to tell them I’m gay
And 3. That the reason i have issues getting close to people coincides with number 1.
Now let me just say that I’m not specifically scared of telling my family I’m gay, I’m more scared of what that means.
Because to me that means its real, there’s no going back. That i have put this expectation upon myself to then go out and find a girlfriend, but i honestly think that you don’t need to have a girlfriend to know your gay and i know they won’t think that either.
So all in all, i think i will still need a bit more time to become comfortable with the fact myself before i tell anyone, and I KNOW i have said this before it’s just that i felt like i needed to share this war my subconscious was waging with my resolve.
I won this battle this time but I’m truly not sure how much longer i can go on without telling someone....
Well, till next time, stay golden ladies and gents!
It’s one of those ones where you wake up and you firstly, thank god that it was really just a dream, and have an overwhelming compulsion to curl up in a ball and start crying...
Now, the dream was that my grandparents who i am super close to had passed away... i was devastated, my whole family was.
Then my parents (who never say more than two words to each other) made a plan to commit suicide and went through with it!
It was an earth shattering moment... my mum was, without question, the best mum in the world.
She had the ability to be my mother and my best friend without compromising on either aspect and it was now only me and my younger sister and for the life of me i just couldn’t understand why it had happened.
Then i started thinking about all the things that these four people, that mean the word to me, were going to miss in my life.
My wedding day, that day i have kids, even just my graduation from University. Things that i had always seen then there for.
Smiling at me, encouraging me, telling me they loved me.
And through all of it i couldn’t help but hate the fact that they died, not knowing about this part of me that i kept hidden, my sexuality.
Now in the grand scheme of things i knew that they would love me no less upon knowledge of this fact and it would not for a second change the person that i am in their eyes.
But it still hurt that they didn’t know, and honestly without them in my life, sharing it with me, i didn’t feel like i could keep living... like that in time i would just slowly fade out and be gone forever as they were.
Now in the midst of this other bizarre and unexplainable thing happened as they often do in dreams and eventually i woke up.
So once the urge to burst into tears and run into my mums room to just check that she really was still there subsided i got a chance to review this dream and heres what i came up with.
1. I have deeply rooted fears of losing the people i love
2. I was scared that i would lose them before i worked up the courage to tell them I’m gay
And 3. That the reason i have issues getting close to people coincides with number 1.
Now let me just say that I’m not specifically scared of telling my family I’m gay, I’m more scared of what that means.
Because to me that means its real, there’s no going back. That i have put this expectation upon myself to then go out and find a girlfriend, but i honestly think that you don’t need to have a girlfriend to know your gay and i know they won’t think that either.
So all in all, i think i will still need a bit more time to become comfortable with the fact myself before i tell anyone, and I KNOW i have said this before it’s just that i felt like i needed to share this war my subconscious was waging with my resolve.
I won this battle this time but I’m truly not sure how much longer i can go on without telling someone....
Well, till next time, stay golden ladies and gents!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Easy A. Officially my favourite movie of the year!
Not only is Emma Stone hilarious and gorgeous in her first leading role! It has some surprisingly deep undertones, some that actually coincide with the general theme of this blog!
So if you haven’t already, go check it out! I promise you will not be disappointed!
My new hair!
What do you think?
And for any one who was wondering what the style is called... It is called Ombre and if you youtube it there are many, many DIY tuts incase you were interested in this style for yourself!
Stay golden!
FCK BULLIES! DON'T B H8N ON THE HOMOS!
Pure FUCKING gold! haha
High School Senior "Comes Out" in Assembly
How cool is this! I hope this reaches alot of people and her words are heard! Share it!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
To come out or not to come out?
So i had my Uni orientation day today and throughout the proceeding met some pretty interesting people.
We chatted about our goals and our lives and all the while i was having a raging argument within myself weather or not to come out to these people...
Mind you i am attending a CATHOLIC University which have no LGBT groups to speak so I’m not too sure how it would all go down.
Not that you have to be a Catholic to attend this school, and they even pride themselves on their diversity but I’m still a bit iffy about the whole situation.
I mean eventually i will have to come out, this girl even asked me today what my 'type' was, and i will shamefully admit that the only thing i could manage was that i liked long hair.... that’s not even a coherent answer... i got handed the biggest opportunity to slip it in and was so scared i couldn’t even answer the question properly!
I’m starting to think that maybe there are deeper lying issues than just what my 'peers' will think of me and maybe i need to become more comfortable with the fact myself before I’m ready to admit this to others.
Just wish i could be stronger and louder and prouder, I kind of feel like a total failure as a lesbian!
Maybe if there was some support for people in my situation it wouldn’t be so difficult, i was even thinking about approaching someone about forming a LGBT or even a GSA group but i don’t think that’s on the cards for me anytime soon.
Let’s just say I’m easing into my new role as a lesbian and that when the time is right i will make it known to others... and maybe I’ll let them get to know me as a person first rather than sticking a massive label on my forehead on the first day of Uni!
What do you think i should do? Would love your opinions!
Till next time... STAY GOLDEN!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
MY HOTTEST TOP TEN!
Welcome one and all to my take of the top ten hottest ladies in Hollywood... Hope you enjoy!
We will start the countdown with the radiant -
We will start the countdown with the radiant -
10. ASHLEE SIMPSON
9. KAREN ALLOY
Check out this hillarious and adorable red heads youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/spricket24
8. JESSICA SZOHR
7. SHAY MITCHELL
6. JOAN JETT
5. KATE MOENNIG
4. RUBY ROSE
3. TERESA PALMER
2. LILY LOVELESS
And take out the NUMBER 1 POSITION!
KRISTEN STEWART
I will however, shamelessly admit that i fell ass over head for this little lady after watching The Runaways! That scene with her and Dakota Fanning definitely ruffled my feathers! I actually wasnt a massive fan of her, specifically because i cant stomach thoose Twilight movies.... EHH... But after seeing The Runaways Kristen sent my gaydar into over drive... she was just so perfectly suited to this film and was more comfortable in the role then i had ever seen her, i think Ruby hit the nail on the head when she suggested Kristen was gay... well a girl can hope haha!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Maya and Emily! Pretty Little Liars!
Is it just me or i every one gushing over the newly formed couple on Pretty Little Liars!?
So i know there having a bit of a rough time at the moment, what with Emily's mum getting Maya sent away to juvy camp and everything, but i have strong hopes for these girls and hope to see them happy together forever.
Haha im a sucker for a love story!
CHECK OUT THIS ADORABLE VIDEO! What is Love?
What is love to you? Leave me a comment and let me know!
Alsoto check out the lovely ladie who put this video together, go to http://www.youtube.com/user/fuckinglesbian892 she has some pretty funny vids :)
xoxo
lets play a game
I've decided im going to follow in the foot steps of many a lesbian before me and post what i think are the top ten sexiest women of all time.... im only going to take it to ten because i know some blogs can be a bit tedious to get through when they have 50+ girls and mostly just looks like there filling spaces until the top ten! So keep a look out for the Lonely Little Lesbians take on the ten sexiest ladies alive!!
STAY GOLDEN!
STAY GOLDEN!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
my lesbo playlist
Just a few song that i think resinate with how i feel at the moment.... check them out, hope you'll love them as much as I do!
Joan Jett and the Black Hearts - Crimson and Clover
(ive never felt so gay listening to this song!)
Sia - Natalie's Song
The Jezebels - Mace Spray
and last but not least.....
Metric - Help, I’m Alive
<3
confessions of a lesbian
Ok, well in all honesty i don’t really know where to begin. Actually i don’t really even know what I’m doing here.
All i know is that i don’t have a freaking clue about ANYTHING anymore.
Ah yes, I’m sure your rolling your eyes thinking this is just another angsty teenager struggling to find her place in the world, but that’s not the case. Well, not entirely.
See it all started.... actually i can’t pin point the exact moment but, i have 'somewhat' recently, you might say, come to the surprising realisation that i am gay.
Ah, lo and behold, another confused soul struggling in a world of black, white and in my case a big, fat, flaming rainbow!
No, i guess what i a trying to say is that, i am having a bit of a hard time swallowing this pill and I’m sure for all the typical reasons that people coming to terms with their sexuality experience, for example:
What will my parents think?
Will i become a social leper?
Will i ever be able to have a family?
Am i the only one that feels this way?
Do i have to now shave my hair off, put on 20kgs and get a GRRLS RULE bumper sticker before anyone will actually believe I’m a lesbian?
I guess the one perk to the situation is that i can now get into my local night club for free on 'gay night' again as long as i can prove to be of the 'lesbian' persuasion.
Because in all honesty, if you looked at me i don’t believe i would instantly be kicking your gaydar into maximum overdrive, unlike my lady friend below.
WARNING: Your gaydar might literally explode upon sight of this women.
But, coming back coming back to my point, I’m not your typical looking lesbian. Actually to describe me in one word, i would (shamefully) have to say I’m 'femme' or feminie in appearance, aka i look like your average girl next door.
I like to dress up, i curl my (very) long brown hair almost every day. (don’t panic i also deep condition once a week lol)
I have more close then i will EVER wear in my entire life and an extensive collection of shoes of which i am very proud and that make me tingle inside when i look up them.
Too far? Oh well, i am as proud of the fact that I’m gay (although still closeted...) as i am of being a GIRL.
Yes ladies and gentlemen i am a GIRL who looks like a GIRL and loves other GIRLS!
The stereotypical illusion has been shattered! haha not really...
There always has been and always will be lesbians who like to look girly... for arguments sake let’s review Portia De Rossi-DeGeneres the breathtaking wife famously to out and proud talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, just in case you hadn’t caught on or had been living under a rock for 10+ years.
So, after all the above ranting, what I’m really trying to express here is, in a culture that so highly values individuality and expression of self, will i ever be able to fit in? Will i ever be accepted as a lesbian and more tragically will ever find love and fulfilment as a lesbian?
I’m praying the answer is yes... because so far it’s all been a pretty hard nut to crack this LGBT community and I’m starting to feel like maybe i am the only one out there.
So I’m asking all you LESBIANS, GAYS, BISEXUALS, TRANSGENERS, QUEERS, QUESTIONINGS and any other weird but wonderful sexualities you can come up with, please share your stories of self-realisation and 'coming out' because i would love to be able to take comfort in knowing I’m not alone!
And thankyou everyone who took the time to read this, i hope you stay tuned for the next instalment of my journey to the wonderful and beautifully decorated land of gaydom.
Till then, SAY GOLDEN!
Labels:
Bisexuals,
coming out,
Gay,
Lesbian,
LGBT,
stereotypes,
Transgenders
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